I was born to a family of land lords who lost their land to the infamous partition of India, still recovering from the so called huge losses. With hopes I joined the huge family of the well known “Paul Choudhury of Sylhet” which in the last 60 years or so has scattered to different parts of the world. I was born on 15th July 1993 to a teaching couple. As a young lad I would see my dad giving lessons to his students which looked interesting, even though I could not even understand the least about what he was explaining them.
I had dreams as a kid that today seems to me as mere fun and frolic, first to run freely without any avoidance then to cycling, as I slowly kept on growing, with age hope and dreams became greater. I have a distant memory of an occurrence when I was in the 4th standard. I had friends who stood first in our class and it was when I dreamt of achieving the same feet. Yes, I was too young but the reality of the world was slowly reaching my conscience, today I call it competition which was just some silly dream then.
Like parents of every other pupil in the class my parents also wanted me to fair well in exams. What confused me then and what confuses me today are both the same. I stood 4th the following year, my parents were happy but, my dad did add this “Raj, your results are great, remember your best friend stood first this time too”. Today, after almost ten long years when I remember those lines I still cannot make out what did he want me to understand.
Change of focus each time has changed my life sometimes for my improvement or else for the opposite. I hope you are able to make out what I want you to understand.
In short, my hopes and desires gradually changed from bicycles to cricket kits, then to top in the class exams, then literally with a bit of hormonal surge to girls(although I was able to control myself) 😛 hehe!!
There are some questions that a child frequently faces. What is your name? What is your parents’ name? How old are you? What do you aim to be in future? And a lot more…..
For someone like me the toughest of them was to answer what I want to become in future. First, that I haven’t seen future. Second, these questions come to you when you are hardly able to understand what you ought to. That is the time when the child looks to his surrounding to find the most interesting of jobs, interesting in the sense of being someone he admires. May it be someone who belongs to the family or not. Some kids may even name a super hero.
That is a fact that some parents give their burden of hopes at the back of their small children which should not be done. I don’t understand why people who seem to be understanding do not take the handful of steps to be taken when it comes to the implementation of ideas. Ideas are needed to be implemented but to implement those parents need to shape not their ideas but their children’s. May be as parents some may think “how can a child know about his future?” Let me tell you your child is not a robot that needs to obey your orders much to your wishes, but should follow their dream.
I don’t mean a child must be given to act all independent but he must at least be given some freedom of expression.
By the time I was in my tenth study although was the first priority of most of my friends and my parents, it was last in the list of priorities for me and a few friends of mine. Although when exams knocked my doors extensively I would remain all prepared to take on it. Today I suppose that might have been the last year I had such fun till I was into the tech institute.
Life had another turn then, from a very fun loving, naughty boy I had become very serious, in life, studies and all that in which every parent would want his pal to be with. That was not all; I lost contact with some of my very good friends, but I had made new friends by then. Loosing friends was still throbbed me at some point of my heart. I geared up all because like every other child of my type I also dreamt of the highest, and like most I wasn’t able to fulfil that either. My perception as regards life had changed by now. I knew now that everything I wish for might not be fulfilled.
That moment made me realise that it’s your achievement that keeps people glued to you, never except anyone except the best of your friend and family look upon you after you fail to achieve. All people who have been at your back and call earlier would suddenly tend to disappear. I understood what my worth was in there after that. A zillion thanks to god for having at least a few friends and family to stand by me even then, or otherwise I might not have been here writing this long crap.
“LIFE IS A RACE”…O yeah! Someone rightly said that. Each one of us compete with a billion to earn our livelihood, indirectly each of us fight for ourselves and our beloved with none else but ourselves.
The reality is we are born alone and we also leave alone, but we are afraid to say the later. We people should learn to cope up with every truth of life and bear with it only then we will be bold enough to live peacefully.